Proper nutrition is always important, but eating right is absolutely vital for women who are pregnant, breastfeeding or even just trying to get pregnant.

Eating right prior to a planned pregnancy is essential, since most women will not know their pregnancy status until many weeks after conception.  Proper levels of certain vitamins like folic acid can prevent many common birth defects, so the best pregnancy diet is one that starts even before conception.

Eating right during pregnancy means eating more, but it is important to make each of those extra calories count. Women who are currently pregnant should plan on consuming approximately 300 extra calories per day, but it is important that those extra calories come with extra nutrition and not just empty calories.

It is also important for pregnant women to take the prenatal vitamins prescribed by their doctors – these vitamins will provide important extra nutrients for the growing baby.

Pregnant women should be sure to eat a wide variety of foods in order to ensure proper nutrition.  Both mother and child will need to consume a variety of carbohydrates, fats and proteins in order to ensure proper nutrition.  And since that growing fetus is dependent on mom for nutrition, it is essential for her to eat plenty of nutritionally dense foods.

A good rule of thumb for pregnant women is to consume from 7 to 11 servings of grains and breads, four to five servings of fruits, another four to five servings of vegetables, three or four servings of dairy products like milk, cheese and yogurt and three servings of protein, including meats, fish, eggs and poultry.  Fats and sweets should both be consumed sparingly, since they can add many additional calories with little nutritional value.

When selecting foods it is a good idea to choose foods that are high in fiber.  Not only will this help to improve overall health but it will also help women deal with the constipation that often accompanies pregnancy.

The healthy diet established at the start of a pregnancy should of course continue throughout the entire nine months.  It is important for mom to eat right for the entire pregnancy, as this will help the baby grow and develop properly.  Many common birth defects can be caused by nutritional deficiencies, and that is why proper nutrition is so important for all stages of pregnancy.  By eating a healthy diet and taking the prescribed prenatal vitamins mothers to be can get their babies off to a great start and avoid many problems down the road.

When I told anyone who happened to be interested that I was interviewing Ann Sinnott, a mother who had breastfed her daughter for over six years and has now written a book on the subject, reactions ranged from discreet grimaces to outright revulsion.

If I’d said I was about to meet someone who believed swearing at children was to be encouraged along with smacking them daily, the disapproval could not have been greater.

“It’s obviously about her own needs, not her child’s,” a few mothers said, while one or two men, more predictably, homed in on the sexual potential. “She probably gets turned on by it.” My seven-year-old son (keen breastfeeder for seven months) wasn’t exactly neutral. “Yuck. Imagine me coming home from school and saying, ‘OK, Mum, can I suck from your bosoms now?’ It’s weird.”

If we find it weird, argues Sinnott, it’s simply because we’re not used to it. When was the last time you noticed a mother breastfeeding her eight-year-old in the local park? In public, at least, it isn’t done. “But children aren’t cultural creatures like us,” says Sinnott. “Their biological imperatives are intact.” Such an imperative is to feed as often – and as long – as possible, whether that be to two years old, eight or well beyond. In other cultures it is completely natural to respond to such needs, Sinnott claims, with three and four-year-olds continuing to breastfeed in Greenland, five-year-olds in Hawaii and seven-year-olds among the Inuit.

We know from a wealth of research the health advantages of long-term breastfeeding. The World Health Organisation (WHO) now recommends breastfeeding with “appropriate complementary foods” for up to two years or beyond. But what about that key word “beyond”? Physiologically, there is no research, as yet, to suggest that breastfeeding for longer than two years is significantly beneficial. As the WHO says: “We don’t know. There is no evidence either way.”

Sinnott is, however, passionate about the advantages, even though the evidence she cites is overwhelmingly anecdotal, and personal. “A child who has been breastfed to their heart’s content … has a basic sunny aspect to their nature,” she says. “They are amazing; self-confident and outgoing but not in a brash way – the anecdotal evidence is overwhelming.”

At one point she mentions a 16-year-old boy who was regularly fed by his mother and cites examples of even older children. She says breastfeeding adolescents isn’t a practice she would dismiss out of hand.

I wonder what sort of woman Sinnott can be before I am due to meet her on a snowy afternoon in Cambridge at a hotel near where she lives. Her book is exhaustively researched and argued, if not a little evangelical at times, and can seem defensive when anyone – including two child psychotherapists – is sceptical about her views. Will she be, as my son would say, “weird”, fanatical and humourless on the subject? Not at all. She is older than I expected, in her late 50s, with auburn, silvery hair and speaks softly with a faint Irish lilt. She works as a part-time administrator at the university, and is dressed in a black velvet top and a pearl necklace – the effect is more affectionate aunt than breastfeeding hardliner.

We sit in the glass foyer sipping hot chocolate, watching falling snow drift across the quad of Queen’s College, while she chatters warmly about her only daughter, now nearly 18 and hoping to study history at Oxford university. “When Maeve was two, the thought of breastfeeding five or six-year-olds seemed horrific to me,” she admits. “Then I spoke to an ex-colleague who told me he had been breastfed until about eight and the scales just fell from my eyes.”

When Maeve was six months old, Sinnott, then a health writer, knew she wanted to continue breastfeeding long term. “Her need to feed was evident, and I knew even then I would go well beyond a year. I realised I’d be treading outside the norm and decided to join a breastfeeding group who would support me.”

Sinnott was a single parent by the time Maeve was born, devoting herself to her daughter’s needs exclusively. “For the first three years, we lived a life when night and day were blurred. It was wonderful. She fed whenever she needed to. As she got older – around three – she was so strong physically. I remember visiting relatives and they would ask, ‘How come she eats like a bird but she looks so robust, so strong physically?’” she recalls proudly.

Wasn’t she eating solid meals by that age? “Well, it comes and goes at that stage if you’re still feeding. I hear mothers and fathers anxious because their child doesn’t feel hungry and I think they’re probably too full up on solids. Whereas breast milk is perfect – it changes to meet the needs of children whatever their age.” Sinnott admits that her style of parenting isn’t realistic for many mothers. “My circumstances allowed me to mother how I wanted.”

The longer she breastfed, the more women she met – of all ages and social classes – discreetly feeding older children well beyond primary school age. Although she is convinced that their numbers are on the increase, they are, she says, a hidden phenomenon, driven behind doors because they are so fearful of being misinterpreted and misunderstood. “I think the internet has helped. Women have recourse to much more information and support. But many are still really afraid and worried about other people’s reactions,” she says.

Ruth (not her real name) would have felt distinctly uncomfortable breastfeeding her six-year-old son in public. “I wouldn’t want to shock people, and just because I understand the health and emotional benefits, it doesn’t mean everyone else will feel the same way.” Ruth recalls how one of her male friends asked her if she “got off on it”. “He didn’t understand and didn’t want to listen to my views anyway.” Her partner found that as the father, other people tended to be less judgmental. “Any comments we got were almost always directed at Ruth,” he says. “For some women I felt there was actually a degree of guilt as well as envy, which they didn’t recognise.”

Whatever the reason, there is something about breastfeeding older children that makes many of us feel awkward and, irrationally, uneasy. On some level it touches darker fears about a mother pursuing her own needs, potentially sexual as well as emotional, over and above that of her child.

Our general ambivalence on the issue is crystallised in that Little Britain sketch where an extremely adult David Walliams cries “Not bitty later, bitty now”, before latching on to a middle-aged mother to the horror of polite onlookers. This makes me wonder if Sinnott feels there is a limit to the upper age at which children should be breastfed? If, for instance, Maeve came home from college and still fancied the occasional feed, why not? Maeve, as it happened, decided she was no longer interested at around six-and-a-half but had she wished to continue, Sinnott says she would have, happily.

“I wouldn’t pre-judge,” she says and cites a historical example she found during her research, of a daughter in her early 20s, “suckled” by her mother for “comfort” during a bereavement.

Doesn’t she worry that older children could be confused by the physical intimacy of breastfeeding? “No, no,” she insists. “I know it’s not a sexual act. Anyway I don’t see it as ‘intimate’. If I hugged you, there’s an intimacy there too.” Not quite the same level of intimacy as a mouth latching on to your nipple, I suggest, but she won’t acknowledge a difference.

Sinnott does admit that she was rather surprised that around 18 of the 181 women she approached in her research did, “have an experience they could equate to sexual feelings”. Maybe, she reflects, it is part of a “reward system”, in other words, nature’s way of “ensuring women will breastfeed because it’s a source of physical pleasure to them.”

Sinnott herself never enjoyed breastfeeding in that way. “Once she was latched on, I had no sensation,” she recalls. Did she miss the experience when Maeve decided to stop? “No, but it was great. We were both ready at the same time, although she has no memories of it, which is a shame.”

Stephanie Heard, a health visitor, breastfed her son Wilfred for 16 months but her twin daughters continued to feed until they were six, stopping two months ago.”They are very proud and really enjoyed it,” says Heard. “It was never a taboo subject, and when they decided to stop it was a mutual decision between the two of them.”

When they were younger, they would feed at the same time but even at six, it was something of a shared experience. “Kizzy said ‘I’m not going to have dee-dee – that’s what they called breastfeeding – any more.’ So Jenna said, ‘If you’re not having it any more, can I have your side?’

“Soon afterwards they said, ‘We’re not having dee-dee any more’ and that was that. It was just another thing really, like sucking their thumb or needing a particular toy.”

Stella Onions, 45, stopped breastfeeding her daughter last March. Now nearly seven, she still remembers it well. “It was delicious and yummy,” she enthuses over the phone. “It made me feel happy.”

Onions decided to carry on breastfeeding because she was convinced of the continuing nutritional value of breast milk to older children. “The more you read about it, the more you think what it does for the immune system is incredible.” She also found it an effective way to offer comfort. “It does help when they’re toddlers and they’re upset, angry or tired.”

Yet emotionally the advantages of extended breastfeeding are difficult to measure. One could argue that a mother’s role is to steer her child towards independence, and that breastfeeding until well beyond primary school age could hinder the delicate process of emotional maturation and separation. Modern parenting theory would suggest that it is the parent, rather than the child, who should set boundaries, and by the age of eight, the mother should be able to rely on less physical means of gratifying and meeting the needs of her child.

“It isn’t necessarily productive,” says Louise Emanuel, a consultant child psychotherapist and head of the under-five service at the Tavistock Clinic in London. “They may feel that to say no is cruel and heartless. I think parents who breastfeed for a very short time or a very long time may be displaying a manifestation of something similar.” In other words, a difficulty to feel confident in what they have to give to a child. “Parents need to help their children cope beyond the physical presence of the parents, to internalise a helpful parent in their mind, even when the parent is not physically there.”

Long-term breastfeeders believe the opposite. Helen (not her real name), now 50 and a lecturer who breastfed her son until he was eight, feels that not rushing the separation process is what gives a child a stronger sense of independence later on. “The general fear is that the mother is overly dependent on the child, keeping them young or immature. I’ve spoken to enough people to know that isn’t the case. More people are damaged by premature separation than by allowing someone to move on in their own time.”

Helen’s son stopped of his own accord, even though he used to say he would like to carry on for ever. “I do remember asking him, ‘When do you think you’ll stop?’, to which he replied, ‘When I’m married’, and once he said, ‘When you’re dead I’ll stop feeding.’”

But where does this leave the father when the physical bond between mother and child is so close for so long? Helen says her partner never felt excluded. “He was fine about it when I explained what I was doing and why.” Stella’s partner is also supportive. “It’s a natural, really, and makes perfect sense for the baby. I don’t feel left out – I think my wife can be sexy and a mother.”

Other men, says Sinnott, can be less tolerant when their partners continue to feed for years. “It’s a common scenario in the US when a relationship flounders – breastfeeding is used as a means for a father to gain custody.”

One has sympathy for many of Sinnott’s arguments when they relate to her own personal experience but less so when she makes a more general case. “Look at what we’ve done to the world, the catastrophes around us … to say breastfeeding is the answer to our social ills is, of course, too simplistic, but I feel fairly sure that, in time, it will come to be acknowledged as a major component.”

I’m more swayed by one mother who stopped breastfeeding her 14-month-old for the simple reason that “once they’re old enough to walk across a room and ask for it, I think it’s probably time to stop.”

Breastfeeding Older Children by Ann Sinnott is published by Free Association Books

Can’t find your keys … again? Whether your momentary memory loss is linked to doing too many things at once or just a bad case of menopausal brain fog, you don’t have to put up with it.

In fact, experts say you can instantly boost your chances of remembering where you put your keys—and everything else you keep forgetting—if you start treating your brain right (no matter your age). Our simple lifestyle changes will help you stay sharp as the years go by.

Floss every day
What do loving licorice and hating the idea of flossing have in common? Both can contribute to plaque on your teeth, which is surprisingly bad for your brain. “The plaque between teeth can cause an immune reaction that attacks arteries, which then can’t deliver vital nutrients to brain cells,” says Michael Roizen, MD, co-author of YOU—The Owner’s Manual: An Insider’s Guide to the Body that Will Make You Healthier and Younger. Solution? Floss every day. Can’t remember? Keep the floss where you store your morning makeup.

Multitask at the gym
Just as working out can keep your body in good shape as you age, stretching your brain can keep it in top form, too. And doing them together is double the fun: Do a crossword puzzle while riding a stationary bike or listen to language lessons on your iPod while running. Scientists say that working the body and mind at the same time revitalizes brain cells. Don’t like multitasking? Hit the crossword right after the gym, when your brain is energized.

Go fish
Look to the sea for healthy ways to feed your brain. DHA, a type of omega-3 fatty acid found in salmon, trout, and some fortified foods such as yogurt, is a super saver for your memory. “DHA decreases arterial inflammation and improves repair of the protective sheath around nerves,” Dr. Roizen says. “The result is less age-related memory loss, less Alzheimer’s disease, less depression, and a quicker mind.”

Steal your kids’ toys
There’s a new version of that Rubik’s Cube that you loved as kid. It’s the 3-D-like Rubik’s 360, and it’s probably good for brains of any age, because it sharpens flexible problem-solving skills, says neuropsychologist Karen Spangenberg Postal, PhD, president of the Massachusetts Psychological Association. The key: As you play, you’re working on your memory, strategy, and spatial skills—all required for improving brain health—at the same time. What if you always found the Cube endlessly frustrating? No worries: Any game that stretches your thinking is helpful.

Just do it
Elevating your heart rate three times a week for 20 minutes—even just by walking—bathes your brain in oxygen and helps it grow new cells. “Aerobic exercise is two to three times as effective as any known brain-training activity,” says Sam Wang, PhD, associate professor of neuroscience at Princeton University and co-author of Welcome to Your Brain: Why You Lose Your Car Keys but Never Forget How to Drive and Other Puzzles of Everyday Life. If you have no time for the gym during the week, that’s OK: Recent research shows moderate to vigorous exercise even just once a week (say, a weekend jog) makes you 30 percent more likely to maintain your cognitive function as you age.

Start a bridge club
If book clubs bore you and dinner parties leave you exhausted, then maybe a brisk game of bridge is just what the doctor ordered. The combination of strategy and memory in bridge challenges the brain to learn new information and exercises cells so they don’t die, Dr. Postal says. Plus, socializing while playing cards adds a level of unpredictability that gives your brain a charge—something solo games don’t offer. Bridge is definitely on the comeback, so you can learn to play through a community college or continuing education program, or hire a private instructor for lessons.

Use chopsticks
“Studies show that engaging the concentrated areas of nerve cells in your fingertips directly stimulates your brain,” says Maoshing Ni, PhD, author of Second Spring: Dr. Mao’s Hundreds of Natural Secrets for Women to Revitalize and Regenerate at Any Age. Truth is, any fingertip activity—using chopsticks, knitting, or even rolling a pen or pencil between your fingers—also helps your brain by boosting your circulation. And good circulation helps eliminate waste products that can prevent nutrients from reaching your brain.

Play electronic games
No, you’re not too old for a Wii or one of the new handheld brain-exercise games. And it may even be good for you, since simply trying something new gets your brain juiced, says neuropsychologist Reon Baird, PhD, of the Long Beach Memorial Medical Center. “When that something new is a video game, you’ll stimulate different parts of the brain that you don’t normally use on a day-to-day basis,” she says. Try Brain Challenge for the Wii or Brain Age for the Nintendo DS. If that’s too techy for you, play along with Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy! on TV, Dr. Baird says. Challenge your know-it-all spouse to make it more fun.

Be careful with meds
If you ache every time you work out and never sleep well due to night sweats, there’s a pill for that. But be careful: Research in Clinical Interventions in Aging reveals that nonprescription sleep aids may cause some “cognitive impairment”—like confusion— in older adults. How much is unknown, but you’re probably familiar with the next-day grogginess. And the medicine known as diphenhydramine (found in many allergy medications and nighttime pain pills) has an “anticholinergic” effect; it blocks communication between nerve cells. Talk with your doctor about other remedies like relaxation or cognitive therapy for sleep problems.

Best brain foods for everyone!
Studies suggest that natural chemicals in these foods, spices, and drinks combat cognitive decline.

• Asparagus
• Blueberries
• Cocoa
• Coffee
• Egg yolks
• Indian curry
• Red wine
• Rosemary
• Salmon
• Tomato sauce
• Walnuts

Our everyday shoes can cause havoc with callouses, corns and blisters becoming second nature to keeping up with the addiction that many of us have to shoes!

You don’t need to rush off to a salon before donning those open-toed shoes. Get your feet in tip-top shape at home.

• Remove old polish from the nails of both feet.
• Soak your feet in warm water for 10 to 15 minutes. Add Epsom salts or any other commercial foot soak.
• Dry your feet with a big, fluffy towel and then apply some lotion to your feet. They can never be too soft.
• Use a nail file to smooth the edges, including the sides. Best shape: square with rounded edges.
• Push back your cuticles. Use a cuticle moisturizer if they do not push back easily after soaking.
• Moisten a cotton ball and rub over the toenail. This will remove any oily residue from the lotions used.
• Apply basecoat, two coats of color and a thin topcoat.  Be sure to allow a minimum of 1 minute between coatings for each coat of enamel to dry.
• Let your polish dry for a few hours before putting on close-toed shoes. Apply one coat of top coat three days after your pedicure, then every third day after that to keep polish from chipping.

Pedicure Basics

As the name suggests this section deals with the up-keep and maintenance of your feet’s beauty. This makes feet clean, free of corns and beautiful. For pedicure you need following material: a bowlful lukewarm water mixed with soap; pumice stone; nail varnish remover; a little of good cream or oil; salt; cider vinegar; lime-skin; nail cutter; nail filer; nail brush; cuticle cream; cuticle pusher; nail cleaner; French chalk; nail buffer (to produce a home made nail buffer wrap a cotton-ball into a piece of velvet).

Pedicure Process

First see whether your toe-nails are not dirty. If they are, clean them with the nail cleaner. Then remove the nail polish with the help of nail varnish remover. Cut the toes’ nails with the cutter and file them with the filer to give them straight filing. This way the nails won’t grow towards inside. Now take lukewarm water in a bowl and add to it salt and cider vinegar as per the requirement.

Usually one is to 4 ratio seems adequate. Soak your feet in this solution for about 10 minutes. If you want you can add some perfume also in this mixture. In summers a few drops of eau-de-cologne would be ideal. In winters you can go for any almond based perfume. When you keep your feet soaked in this water for about 20 minutes or so you would find your skin losing its rough outer layer. To remove the dead skin cells rub the area with the pumice stone.

Now apply cuticle cream on the toe-nails and press the skin of the big and small toes with the cuticle pusher. Having done so to your satisfaction rub the lemon-skin (inside). Over the toes, skin to make it clean and shining. Now drain off this water and take fresh water in another bowl or the same bowl freshly cleaned.

Dry your feet in the intervening period and then liberally rub cream over the entire-feet. After this treatment the cream fits well in the pores to keep your feet soft and shining. Now put a little French chalk on every nail and start the buffing operation till each nail starts shining. Having treated your feet this way you will feel as if you are flying when you go for a walk.

I think soaking with good salts is the important step in doing pedicure. It really works. – kim

Similarly, skin care routine can give you the skin texture, look and feel you desire. Very often after the day’s work you feel quite tired.

Especially in summer when you go out, you sweat a lot, which causes a deficiency of essential salts in your body. This results in a feeling of tiredness and weariness in you. Follow these steps according to your skin type and you will feel quite fresh.

If you have the proper knowledge about your skin you can take its proper care and keep it free from problems. On the one hand, to keep the skin intact, healthy and glowing, we ought to take good diet to provide the vitamins required by our skin; on the other hand, to deal with the harmful effects of atmosphere we have to take the help of external applications known as cosmetics. Cosmetics claim to do everything from ensuring safe tanning to reversing the ageing process.

Skin Type	First Step	Second Step	Third Step	Fourth Step
	Massage	Cellulite control	Cleansing	Moisturizing
Normal and combination skin	Massage in upward and circular motion every day.	Scrub the body vigorously with an upward and circular motion. Do it every day. Check out for homemade body scrubs	Bathing should be followed by towel massage. Do it every day. (Bath Basics )	Apply nourishing and moisturizing cream every day.
Dry, very dry and ageing skin (Home remedies for dry skin)	Massage in upward and circular motion every day.	Scrub the body vigorously with an upward and circular motion. Do it twice a day on the chest and back.	Bathing should be followed by towel massage. Do it every day.	Apply nourishing and moisturizing cream every day.
Oily or acne-prone skin (Home remedies for oily and acne skin)	Massage in upward and circular motion every day.	Scrub the body vigorously with an upward and circular motion. Do it twice a day on the chest and back.	Bathing should be followed by towel massage. Do it every day.	Apply nourishing and moisturizing cream every day.
Sensitive skin (Home remedies for sensitive skin)	Massage in upward and circular motion every day.	Scrub the body vigorously with an upward and circular motion. Do it every other day.	Bathing should be followed by towel massage. Do it every day.	Apply nourishing and moisturizing cream every day.

One of the biggest obstacles in a woman’s life is losing the dreaded baby weight. Deciding which exercises to do can be difficult, not to mention finding the time away from motherly duties to actually exercise!

Studies show that exercising soon after the birth of your baby will improve your overall health, and lower your risk of developing postpartum depression. However, before starting a new exercise program make sure you seek the professional advice of your doctor. Every delivery is different and may put limitations on what you can and can’t do in the way of exercise.

Try to integrate the following forms of exercise;

Walking
There is no better way to kick start your exercise plan. Walking is one of the easiest ways to transition into exercise. Best of all, walking with your baby in a stroller or in a front pack increases your weight resistance and also the impact of your walk!

Deep Belly Breathing
1.Sit upright and breathe deeply, drawing air from the diaphragm upward.
2.Contract and hold your abs/midsection tight while inhaling and relax while exhaling.
3.Gradually increase the amount of time you can contract and hold your abs.

Mommy, Baby Yoga Class
Signing up for a yoga class that actually incorporates your baby is a great way to exercise and bond with your child. These classes actually utilize your babies weight to intensify your yoga workout.

Stroller Fitness Class
Sign up for a stroller workout at your local park. Designed to rebuild your core strength and target all the areas that drive you crazy, this workout will burn a lot of calories to get your pre-baby body back!

Mom’s Dance Class
A Mom and child dance class is another great way to bond with your child. Dancing soothes your child and lets face it, it’s also a really fun way to lose weight. Classes are offered nation wide in a number of different dance genres. So put your dancing shoes on!

1. What if he doesn’t like my body?

With often unattainable superbods gracing mags and media, body image has a lot to answer for and can affect your ability to enjoy sex.

What’s important to remember is that whatever your body shape is, your partner will be more bothered about whether you’re having a good time than about your allegedly wobbly thighs or skinny arms. He’s probably not perfect either but if you both relax, the sex will follow suit.

2. I’m worried about getting pregnant

Getting pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) are two common fears, but by using a condom your chances of either are greatly reduced. The male condom is 98% effective (when used properly). Remember to check the condom after you’ve had sex – if you think it has split, you may need to take the emergency contraceptive pill. Advice is also available from the Family Planning Association, Brook, or your GP (doctor).

3. I can’t orgasm during sex

Sex and relationship psychologist, Dr Petra Boynton, points out that 80% of women don’t orgasm through (penetrative) sex. But as films often show women coming after a few minutes of thrusting, it’s easy to see why it looks like the norm. What can work is stimulation of the clitoris, so experiment by masturbating on your own then touching (and asking him to touch) your clitoris during sex. Top tip from Dr Boynton is to go on top if you want to increase your chances of having an orgasm during sex.

4. Isn’t sex supposed to be amazing?

Sex is about a lot more than just penetration, so if that’s all you’re doing, it might not feel as ‘amazing’ as you expected it to. Having sex is also about kissing, touching, stroking, talking, and lots of clitoral stimulation. If your partner stops doing these things after a few minutes or isn’t particularly skilled, show him what you like (which he will probably find a turn-on in itself). As Dr Boynton says, don’t think of ‘foreplay’ and ’sex’ as two separate things – they’re part and parcel of the same act.

5. I’m not sure I’m ready

It’s normal to feel a bit unsure about having sex, and if you’re having doubts but feel like you should do it to keep him happy, it’s definitely not the right time. In fact, if he’s actually pressuring you, he’s not ready either. Respecting your wishes and understanding your feelings also shows he cares, as well as displaying that all-important emotional maturity. When you feel ready, tell him and eliminate any potential pregnancy/STI worries by using a condom.

6. I think my vagina looks weird and flappy

Err, how many vaginas have you seen up close and personal? Being a body part that’s not usually on display, it’s easy to think yours is odd-looking, has a funny smell, wiry pubic hair or vaginal lips (labia) that are ‘too long’ or a ’strange’ colour. Vaginas, likes people, come in all shapes and sizes. Lips can be big, or small. Some are hairy, others aren’t. Lads who’ve watched porn will have seen women with shaven vaginas and small labia, but, that doesn’t mean they want you to look like a porn star. Some men are actually turned off by the ‘plucked chicken’ look.

7. Sex sometimes hurts

There are a few reasons why it might be more ‘ouch’ than ‘ohhh’. It could be nerves, or if you’re new to sex (or it’s been a while), you might not be used to it. Mainly, it could be down to a lack of foreplay and lubrication. A lubricant helps, but the key to keeping things juicy is foreplay – so lots of kissing, touching and clitoral stimulation during sex should do the trick. If sex continues to hurt, you may want to see your GP.

8. I fancy a girl – am I a lesbian?

It’s common to find another woman attractive and it doesn’t always mean you’re gay/lesbian. Dr Petra Boynton points out you might be attracted to that particular person, to both guys and girls (bi-sexual), or it could be just girls. For some women, it can be part of a fantasy involving a particular girl or women, but you might feel it’s something more serious and want to start a relationship. It’s normal to have these feelings, whether you’re gay, bi or heterosexual, so don’t rush to stick a label on yourself.

9. Is it wrong to masturbate?

Absolutely not. It’s not harmful and it’s not wrong – if truth be told, it’s the best way to find out what gets you going under the sheets! If you’ve never masturbated, start by exploring your vagina – in particular the clitoris – and you’ll discover what makes you feel good. Dr Boynton notes how some girls feel they shouldn’t masturbate when they’re in a relationship (either alone or in front of their partner), but masturbation is actually a brilliant sex aid, so go for it.

10. I’m worried he won’t want to use a condom

If you think the man should take the lead in sex, it’s easy to think he calls the shots in general. Dr Boynton recommends introducing condoms in a positive way, for example: “I want to relax and not worry about getting pregnant so let’s use one.” If he doesn’t like the sound of that, it says everything about his sexual maturity and experience (or lack of it) and has nothing to do with you being ‘frigid’.

Raw green vegetables like spinach and lettuces become particularly valuable because they contain folic acid and iron, but remember to wash them well.

Essentials:

There are a few critical nutrients that play particularly important roles in foetal development. Those important nutrients are:

• Calories: Proper weight gain on your part is needed to make sure your newborn is delivered at a healthy weight. Add 200 to 300 calories per day for the last two thirds of pregnancy.
• Protein: Protein provides materials for the growing tissues, including the placenta, the mother’s blood and the baby. Get three good servings a day from beans, chicken, fish, or eggs.
• Calcium: This mineral is needed for proper bone formation in the baby and to help preserve the mother’s bone strength. Drink a glass of milk a day to keep levels topped up.
• Iron: An iron supplement is recommended during pregnancy since it is so difficult to get enough in your diet. You will need this extra iron to replenish red blood supply.
• Folic Acid: This is a B vitamin needed for proper cell division. Folic acid taken while trying to conceive and in early pregnancy can help prevent certain birth defects of the brain and spine. Studies show a reduced risk of spina bifida by about 50 percent. This is important from the very beginning of your pregnancy, try to include foods like orange juice and spinach in your diet.
• Fluids: You need extra fluid to feed your increased blood volume and for amniotic fluid. Drink at least six to eight glasses of liquid a day.

Things to avoid:

• Alcohol: As no one really knows how much vino is safe to drink when pregnant it is best to avoid it. Alcohol can cause birth defects in the baby. It can also, in larger quantities, cause miscarriage.
• Unsupervised use of vitamins: If you are thinking of taking any food supplements it’s best to read-up or ask a professional about which ones can benefit you in your pregnancy. Large doses of vitamin A are particularly harmful to a developing foetus, which is why you should also avoid liver.
• Food you are allergic to: If you are sensitive or allergic to certain foods it is best to avoid them in pregnancy because your baby may also be sensitive or affected by your reaction to those foods. Also avoid unpasteurised soft cheeses and pates, they may be carrying the listeria bacterium which is a danger to the baby.
• Smoking: Babies born to smokers may be smaller than other babies, premature or more prone to infections. Cigarette smoke has been recognised as one of the causes of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (also called Cot Death). Asthma, throat and ear infections are common amongst children whose parents smoke. If you would like help to stop smoking you can contact Quitline on 0800 00 22 00.
• Medicine: Avoid all medicines that are not essential. Consult your doctor to check the drugs you may be taking are safe during pregnancy.
• X-rays: Avoid X-rays including dental X-rays.
• Important checks: Are you immune to German Measles (Rubella)? See your doctor about this.
• Some STIs can affect your fertility or be passed on to your baby.
  If you or your partner think that you might be at risk from an STI (including HIV) go to your local sexual health clinic.

Go green

Eating healthily may seem like the obvious thing to do when you’re eating for two, but looking out for hidden dangers in certain foods is also important. Why not try eating organic food? On average, organic food contains higher levels of vitamin C and essential minerals, such as calcium and iron, as well as cancer-fighting antioxidants. You can also be sure of avoiding any potentially harmful pesticide residues.

Although some organic food is a bit more expensive, it can often be much tastier and the added nutrients will have benefits for both you and your baby. Research has shown that children and foetuses are in a higher risk group if they are exposed to chemicals found in pesticides. These chemicals are now thought to be linked to cancer, so eating organic can reduce these risks and give you peace of mind.

Occupational therapist Cathy Kleinman-Barnett works with breast cancer patients, but she has never encouraged women with lymphedema, a breast cancer-related swelling of the arm, to lift weights.

However, she may be changing her tune, thanks to a new study in the August 13 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. It turns out that breast cancer survivors with lymphedema who engage in a progressive, supervised weight-lifting program fare better than their counterparts who do not lift weights.

Lymphedema occurs in as many as 70 percent of women who have breast cancer surgery. Sometimes lymph nodes in the armpit are removed for cancer testing, which can cause the clear fluid (lymph) that circulates in the body to build up in the affected limb. As a result, women must wear a compression sleeve and glove during waking hours.

“For so long, we were taught no heavy lifting and no resistance for our patients, but this article is shouting out yes to resistance and weight,” says Kleinman-Barnett, who is a lymphedema specialist at Northwest Medical Center in Margate, Florida. “The benefits seem to outweigh the risks, and a weight-lifting program may help these women prevent injuries from everyday tasks by boosting strength in the affected limbs.”

Oftentimes breast cancer survivors were told to steer clear of weight lifting — or even carrying their children or heavy grocery bags, because doctors thought it could worsen the swelling. The new study, the largest to date, seems to contradict that recommendation.

In fact, the research team led by Kathryn Schmitz, an associate professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at the University of Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia, and a member of the university’s Abramson Cancer Center, found that weight lifting increased muscle strength, decreased the number and severity of arm and hand symptoms, and reduced lymphedema exacerbations.

“Our study shows that participating in a safe, structured weight-lifting routine can help women with lymphedema take control of their symptoms and reap the many rewards that resistance training has on their overall health,” says Schmitz. Resistance training helps build bone density and can improve health in general.

In the new study, 141 women with lymphedema after breast cancer treatment were divided into two groups. Women in the weight-lifting group received a one-year membership to a local gym. For the first 13 weeks, they participated in twice weekly, 90-minute supervised exercise sessions that included stretching, a cardiovascular warm-up, and abdominal and back exercises. The weight-lifting exercises involved low weights, and one to three new exercises were added at each session.

The number of sets increased from two to three, with 10 reps in each set, during the first five weeks. If the women felt OK, more weight was added.

After 13 weeks, women in the weight-lifting group continued twice-weekly exercise sessions on their own for an additional 39 weeks. By contrast, the women in the other group continued their normal exercise routine throughout the study period. All women wore a custom-fitted compression garment on their affected arm during their workouts.

Overall, the women who lifted weights experienced fewer exacerbations of their lymphedema, and they showed a reduction in symptoms compared to the women in the control group. Nineteen women in the control group had lymphedema exacerbations, compared to nine in the treatment group, the researchers report. A similar proportion of women in both groups showed an increase of 5 percent or more in their limb swelling.

Kleinman-Barnett currently prescribes range-of-motion exercises, stretching, and massage to stimulate lymphatic flow in her patients. “I will now incorporate weight lifting using 2 to 3 pound weights, and slowly increase it, and teach them how to monitor themselves to be sure they are not increasing swelling,” she said. Red flags that weight lifting may be making things worse include more swelling, heaviness, and pain in the arm, she said.

Dr. Marisa Weiss, the president and founder of the advocacy group Breastcancer.org, and the author of the forthcoming new edition of “Living Well Beyond Breast Cancer,” said the new study is good news for two groups of women — those who have lymphedema and those at risk of developing it.

“For women who already have lymphedema, this is good news because we have not known how to get them back to moving and grooving again,” said Weiss, who is the director of breast radiation oncology and breast health outreach at Lankenau Hospital in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania. “Our arms are essential to our ability to be physically active, and we haven’t known how to advise these women in the past.”

Lymphedema is more common after surgeries that remove most or all of the lymph nodes in the under arm area because there are few if any lymphatic drains left intact after such surgeries, she says. “If regular weight lifting with a sleeve in a supervised setting is OK for women with lymphedema, then it is reasonable for women with breast cancer treatment who are at risk of developing lymphedema to go back to some of the things they enjoyed in the past,” she said.

Karen Strauss, a 50-year-old breast cancer survivor who developed lymphedema four months ago, is excited about the findings because she may be able to return to some of the exercises she did before developing breast cancer.

“I used to do a whole workout when I went to the gym, but I have gotten away from it because I am afraid I would make things worse,” said Strauss, a clinical social worker in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “I have been afraid to do anything, but not anymore.”

Strauss currently wears a compression sleeve and glove, gives herself light-touch massages, and does non-weight-bearing exercises to treat her lymphedema. But the new study results have convinced her to talk to her lymphedema specialist about adding light weights to the mix

Now, in the latest bit of research, mothers who were pregnant with babies who were born between June and October had children who, when studied at the age of 9 years, were taller and had wider bones than those born in the darker months.

The Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children (ALSPAC) –  which is also known as Children of the 90’s – is a long-term health research project based at the University of Bristol, England. All of the more than 14,000 Children of the 90’s were born during 1991 and 1992, and their health and development have been followed in great detail ever since.

Originally, all of the ALSPAC families lived in England around Bristol and Bath. Now, some live as far away as Kenya, Brazil and Australia, but they remain in the study.

The families have provided answers about a wide range of health issues such as the benefits of eating fish during pregnancy, peanut allergy, eczema, and childhood ear infections. You can find a list of research findings here.

Based on this latest study, and consistent with my previous posts, pregnant women and children would do well to go outside in the sun, without sunscreens for 15 minutes a day.

Jon Tobias of Bristol University, and a lead researcher on the ALSPAC project, said “Wider bones are thought to be stronger and less prone to breaking as a result of osteoporosis inlater life, so anything that affects early bone development is significant. Pregnant women might consider talking to their doctor about taking Vitamin D supplement, particularly if their babies are due between November and May, when sunlight levels are low.”