Sex is taboo. That’s been told and hinted ad nauseum since school days. Talking or discussing sexual issues have been insurmountable barriers in conservative communities and families.

Add to that a total lack of proper sex education in schools and colleges, and there you have a whole crop of gross misconceptions about sex, and irrational fears and apprehensions emanating from it. There are instances where such fears and misconceptions even lead to serious psychological problems that end up affecting one’s sexual health. Needless to say, all this only contributes to discomfort in mingling with the opposite gender.

It is widely accepted and assumed that unnatural sexual traits, or for that matter a complete lack of interest in sexual matters are all symptoms of a person who lacks sex education. Since there are no proper, formal channels for imparting sex education to teenagers and youth, incomplete and information often results in unanswered questions, unclarified doubts and unwanted consequences.

To have a normal and healthy sex life, it’s important to shed social inhibitions attached to the subject and acquire complete knowledge. This Sex Guide contains important facts and information about essential matters pertaining to sex, with a specific focus on both the genders. Get answers to some basic questions related to sex, intimacy, sexual hygiene and tips for maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your partner. Explore the Sex Guide for a healthier sex life !

source: www.health.indiamart.com/sexguide/

It’s uncertain what causes depression, however there are some important issues known about depression. Probably it depends on the following components: Genetic tendency, factors that affected you essentially while growing up.

Now you can get further information about the causes of depression here.

Genetics

Depression may show transition between family members. If your mother, father, children or siblings go through repeating depression attacks, unfortunately the risk of having once or more depression episodes of yours is 20%.

Sex

The possibility of progress in depression in women is as twice as much in men. What is more, it is claimed that recently in fact there are much men getting depressed in number than that are assumed in the first place, however they are much more in volunteer to get into a research of treatment. Depression affects men in different aspects so that most men don’t even realize that they’ve got depressed. That leads to existence of decreased per cents in researches.

Socio-economic situation

The relation between social situation and depression isn’t verified eventually, but it seems like the risk of progress in depression in lower socio-economic groups is higher.

Psychological trauma

Some people who have gone through psychological shocks and traumas react these issues by getting depressed. Some of them react in anxiety or alcoholism. In some of them, there hardly occurs a psychological damage. The reaction that you’ll give depends on mostly your genetics and personality.

Sexual abuse

The risk of depression stands higher in people who have been exposed to sexual abuse in childhood.

Divorce

It’s uncertain whether divorce increases the risk of depression or not. The possibility of having been divorced is higher in people depressed than other people, but it’s uncertain whether people get depressed due to divorce or get divorced due to depression.

Unemployment

The possibility of being unemployed is higher in depressed people. However it’s uncertain whether people get depressed due to unemployment or get unemployed due to depression.

Lamentation

It’ll probably surprise you to find out that there’s no relation between the death of a close friend or a relative and the risk of getting into depression. Lamentation is a different situation; however if lasts for too long or causes loss of sense, you may get depressed.

Illness

Physical illnesses increase the risk of depression. Any kind of illness may lead to depression. That is valid for serious problems like coroner thromboses and cancer as well as small problems like flu.

Pregnancy and birth

The risk of progress in depression is higher in weeks and months that follow giving birth. It’s essential that both of your body and mind to get into synchronization in the birth process. It requires harmony in functional systems to look after your baby. This is a most emotional period of life and every one of ten women gets into postnatal depression.

It is often referred to as ‘rectal sex’. Anal sex does carry some health risks, so please read our advice carefully.

Our impression is that anal sex has become rather more common in heterosexual couples, partly because they have watched ‘blue movies’ in which this activity so often occurs.

One small study carried out in 2009 suggested that 30 per cent of pornographic DVDs which are on sale in the UK feature rectal intercourse. Often, it is presented as something that is both routine and painless for women. In real life, this is not the case.

Other types of sexual activity which involve the anus include:

• ‘postillionage’ – which means putting a finger into the partner’s bottom.
• insertion of ‘butt plugs’ – which are sex toys that dilate the anal opening and create a sensation of fullness.
• use of vibrators on or in the anus (please see cautionary note below).
• ‘rimming’ – which is oral-anal contact; this carries a significant risk of infection.
• ‘fisting’ – which means putting the hand into the rectum; this activity is rare among heterosexual couples.

Taboos and infection

There are taboos surrounding the various types of anal sex – and particularly anal intercourse.

These may arouse strong feelings of moral indignation, guilt and anxiety.

It is important to remember that while some people find these activities repugnant, others may find them stimulating, exciting, and a normal part of their sexual intimacy.

Research shows that, whether we like it or not, the anal area is equipped with many erotic nerve endings – in both men and women. So it is not surprising that many couples (including a lot of heterosexual ones) derive pleasure from some form of ‘bottom stimulation’.

What about infection? Most sexual activities carry a risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) from gonorrhoea and herpes to hepatitis B and HIV. There is evidence that anal intercourse carries a higher transmission risk than almost any other sexual activity. Information about these risks is given below.

Consent

What consenting adults enjoy sexually in the privacy of their homes is their own business provided that the law does not prohibit it.

The key issues are legality and consent. In the UK, anal intercourse is a legal activity between consenting men and women aged 16 and over, in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, except in Northern Ireland where it’s 17 and over.

In some countries it is still a criminal offence punishable by long custodial sentences, corporal or even capital punishment. It remains forbidden in some states of the USA, and in some former colonies of Britain.

Consent freely given by both partners is an essential feature of sexual activity in a loving relationship. Many individuals, both men and women, may have secret fantasies involving anal intercourse but feel unable to discuss them with their partner.

Some may try and pressurise their partner to have anal intercourse, even though the partner does not share their interest. Some partners will reluctantly acquiesce, others may be pressured or even physically forced to allow it.

Forcing or pressurising a partner to submit to an activity that they find distasteful or degrading is completely unacceptable behaviour.

Intoxication with drugs or alcohol is associated with lowering inhibitions and experimentation with unusual or unsafe sexual behaviour – and can lead to serious consequences.

It should be remembered that in the absence of freely given consent, the very serious criminal offences of assault and rape are committed. Therefore, it is essential that both partners agree that they wish to try anal sex as a part of their sexual repertoire and that they are sure of the legal position on anal intercourse in the country that they are in.

Who does it?

There is a common misconception that anal sex is practised almost exclusively by gay men. This is certainly not the case. An estimated one third of gay couples do not include anal intercourse in their lovemaking. About one third of heterosexual couples try it from time to time.

It is thought that about 10 per cent of heterosexual couples have anal intercourse as a more regular feature of their lovemaking. In absolute numbers, more heterosexual couples have anal sex than homosexual couples, because more people are heterosexual.

Is it safe?

Anal sex, if practised with care, is possible for most couples. It does, however, carry additional health risks and there are safer sexual practices that couples can enjoy. The main health risks, which affect both heterosexual and homosexual couples, are described below.

• Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV): there is no doubt that anal intercourse carries a greater risk of transmission of HIV – the virus that can cause acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) – than other sexual activities, particularly for the receptive partner.
• Human papilloma virus (HPV, wart virus): this can be transmitted during anal intercourse and lead to anal warts, which in turn could perhaps predispose infected individuals to cancer of the anal canal.
• Hepatitis A (infectious hepatitis): this is a viral infection that can cause jaundice and abdominal pain. Hepatitis A is not usually a life-threatening illness, although sufferers can feel quite ill. It can be transmitted by oral-anal contact.
• Hepatitis C: is a cause of progressive and sometimes fatal chronic liver disease. Hepatitis C may be transmitted by anal intercourse, although this seems to be a rare occurrence. Sharing of equipment for intravenous drug use is a far more important risk for transmission.
• Escherichia coli (E. coli): may sometimes cause mild to severe, or even (rarely) fatal, gastroenteritis. It is one of many viruses and bacteria that can be transmitted by oral-anal contact. Some E. coli strains (uropathic E. coli) can also cause urinary tract infections (UTIs), ranging from cystitis to pyelonephritis – a serious kidney infection. E. coli very readily crosses the short distance between the female anus and the female urinary opening, so causing a urinary infection. Anal intercourse can facilitate this ‘transfer’ – particularly if it is immediately followed by vaginal intercourse.

Protection

Avoiding anal sex altogether is of course the best way of avoiding these risks. There are other, safer sexual practices that can be exciting and rewarding, but many couples may still wish to try the anal route.

The use of condoms and water-based lubricants, such as K-Y Jelly, will offer some protection. Other lubricants may cause condoms to split, as will over-energetic thrusting without adequate lubrication. Specially toughened condoms designed for anal intercourse may offer more protection.

How to have anal intercourse safely

Anal intercourse involves the penetration of the anus and rectum with the erect penis for the purpose of sexual stimulation. It is possible for both men and women to ‘receive’ it, although care is needed for it to be safe and comfortable.

Ensure the anal area is clean and the bowel is empty. This is important both aesthetically and practically. If the bowel is empty, there is no risk of the receptive partner passing faeces.

The ‘receptive’ partner must be able to relax the anal sphincter in order to accommodate the erect penis. The anal sphincter is a ring of muscle that can be contracted or relaxed under voluntary control. Forced penetration may result in tearing of the sensitive skin around the anus or the sphincter itself. This may result in severe anal pain or even faecal incontinence.

Try gently inserting a lubricated finger, perhaps covered by a condom or glove into the anus first. This will enable the receiving partner to find out whether penetration is comfortable and enjoyable. Having managed to accommodate one finger, you can run the finger around the anal canal – gently stretching it. This must be done delicately so as not to cause pain or injury.

Next, you can, if you wish, try and insert two fingers. If this is successfully achieved, the couple may agree to try with a well-lubricated penis or with a butt plug (a broad-based anal dilator), dildo or vibrator (see below about the risks of sex aids and anal sex).

Gentleness, care, adequate lubrication and anal relaxation are required, not the insertive partner pushing harder! If condoms are used for penile penetration, which is advisable to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted disease, it is important to use a water-based lubricant. The insertive partner must control any thrusting, so as to give the receptive partner time to allow the sphincter to relax. With time and practice, this may become easier.

Drugs and anal sex

• Muscle relaxant drugs (amyl nitrate, butyl nitrate, glyceryl trinitrate) have been tried to make anal intercourse easier or more comfortable. We do not recommend this. Amyl nitrate ‘poppers’ sold in small bottles for inhalation, are popular in the gay community and have a reputation both for enhancing the intensity of orgasm and helping relax the anal sphincter. There is no real evidence to support these assertions and its use is not recommended by medical authorities. It is important to remember that amyl nitrate is a potent drug with many side effects, including facial flushing, headaches, dizziness and low blood pressure, which may lead to faintness and loss of consciousness. Amyl nitrate, when taken with Viagra (sildenafil), may cause a catastrophic drop in blood pressure with potentially fatal consequences. Other nitrates may have the same effect. All erection-inducing drugs, including Viagra (sildenafil), Cialis (tadalafil)and Levitra tablets (vardenafil), can be very dangerous if you are using nitrates.
• Local anaesthetics, such as lignocaine (lidocaine) cream or even locally applied cocaine, have been used to reduce anal pain during intercourse. Again, we strongly advise against this. By numbing the anal skin there is a real risk of causing serious injury to the anal sphincter through over-vigorous thrusting. By following the steps above it is possible to gently dilate the sphincter for comfortable intercourse. The purpose of pain is to make us aware that we are causing injury and, therefore, local anaesthetics should be avoided. Another problem with local anaesthetics is that they may make the penis of the insertive partner numb. This may lead to problems with erection, orgasm and ejaculation.

Fisting

This involves the insertion of the whole hand or forearm into the anus (or indeed the vagina) for sexual stimulation.

With adequate relaxation it is physically possible and may be acceptable and enjoyable for some couples. But the diameter of the hand or forearm is so much greater than that of the penis there is an increased risk of anal injury. For that reason, we do not recommend this practice.

Good anal relaxation in the receptive partner and care by the insertive partner are essential.

In practice, anal fisting is very rarely used by heterosexual couples.

Rimming

Rimming involves oral contact with the anus for sexual stimulation. This involves a high risk of transmission of infection. So we cannot recommend this practice.

Sex aids and anal sex – a cautionary note

Some couples like to use sex aids for insertion into the anus. Certain individuals may use them for solitary sexual stimulation.

The same principles apply as for genital insertion in that relaxation is essential. Sex aids must be kept clean and washed carefully between use. Condoms may be placed over sex aids as an additional precaution.

One additional risk from the use of sex aids in anal sex is that of losing the aid into the rectum.

Some medical school pathology museums have a wide selection of novel foreign bodies recovered from the rectums of both men and women, ranging from vibrators to milk bottles.

Human ingenuity seems to know no bounds in this area, but it is incredibly foolish to insert potentially breakable objects into the anus and terrible injuries may result.

If you do lose a sex aid into the rectum you should attend the Accident and Emergency department of your local hospital as soon as possible, however embarrassing it may be. The situation will only get worse if it is neglected and the object may break or become more difficult to recover.

In general, you should only use a sex aid which is designed for the anus. Butt plugs and anal vibrators have a broad base which makes it very difficult to ‘lose’ them inside the rectum.

Vaginal vibrators are not designed in this way, and can easily slip inside and buzz their way up the colon. Some have been recovered by surgeons from far inside the abdomen. If they are still vibrating when the patient arrives at the hospital, they produce an interesting but alarming phenomenon called ‘the rotating umbilicus sign’. Don’t let this happen to you.

Healthy sex involves the conscious and positive expression of your sexual energy so that it enhances your self esteem, physical health and emotional relation.

Healthy sex is beneficial to both the partners and does no harm to anyone. Sex education is limited to reproduction, birth control and disease prevention. Some information on preventing sexual abuse, sexual addiction and sexual dissatisfaction is necessary.

Information on how to overcome problems caused by past sexual hurts and sexual abuse so that we can experience healthy sexual intimacy with your partner is also very essential.

You are always bombarded with images of unhealthy sex from movies, books, on TV and magazines. You may be exposed to many episodes of impulsive and forced sex. Persons are treated as sex objects and sex is portrayed as a form of power and control over your partner.

No wonder many of us have experienced the tragic consequences of mischanneled sexual energy. This could be sexual abuse, compulsive sexual behavior, sexual exploitation, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and chronic sexual unhappiness.

You should spend some time together and get to know each other before you become physical. You both should have a lot of honest and open communication. It will be very helpful if you became good friends first before becoming lovers.

Healthy sex is based on some basic conditions which should be met by everyone.

1. Consent: you are comfortable and can stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact in case you are not comfortable
2. Equality: neither is dominating and each one enjoys equal pleasure
3. Respect: there is loads of positive regard for yourself and your partner. You have mutual respect for each other
4. Trust: this involves physical trust and the emotional one.
5. Safety: you feel secure and safe with your partner and are comfortable about when and how the activity takes place
6. Comfort: it is very necessary as it affirms and sustains partners with closeness, familiarity and predictability

Long term relationships:- People in long term relationships often complain about the lagging sexual energy. Hidden energy can be found when you know where to look for. You should be deeply sexual over time with your life partner as it produces both joy and anxiety that promotes erotic energy.

Bedroom talk:- Most of the times, it is difficult to understand how to satisfy your partner sexually. The basic problem is that we all feel we are experts and know what pleases and our partners. But the fact is, sex is like any other skill. You will have to learn it and practice as every one responds differently to sex and sexual arousal. You may get turned on by some thing and your partner may find the same things unpleasant or uninteresting.

To prevent this you can have a nice chat with your partner. You may come across different topics and know more about each others likes and dislikes. The more you communicate, the more relaxed you will feel and it will boost your confidence. When you are saying some thing it helps to be positive, honest and demonstrative. Ask for a feed back and inform your partner what you are going to next.

Healthy sex is always:

1. A controlled energy
2. Has a choice
3. Is nurturing and healthy
4. Expression of love
5. Sharing with your partner
6. Sex is a part of who I am
7. Enhances who you truly are
8. Private, respectful, honest and mutual
9. Intimate, safe, responsible and empowering
10. Reflects your values
11. Enhances your self esteem

You should know healthy sex from other forms of sex. Healthy sex will empower you and bring more happiness into your sex life.

1. What if he doesn’t like my body?

With often unattainable superbods gracing mags and media, body image has a lot to answer for and can affect your ability to enjoy sex.

What’s important to remember is that whatever your body shape is, your partner will be more bothered about whether you’re having a good time than about your allegedly wobbly thighs or skinny arms. He’s probably not perfect either but if you both relax, the sex will follow suit.

2. I’m worried about getting pregnant

Getting pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) are two common fears, but by using a condom your chances of either are greatly reduced. The male condom is 98% effective (when used properly). Remember to check the condom after you’ve had sex – if you think it has split, you may need to take the emergency contraceptive pill. Advice is also available from the Family Planning Association, Brook, or your GP (doctor).

3. I can’t orgasm during sex

Sex and relationship psychologist, Dr Petra Boynton, points out that 80% of women don’t orgasm through (penetrative) sex. But as films often show women coming after a few minutes of thrusting, it’s easy to see why it looks like the norm. What can work is stimulation of the clitoris, so experiment by masturbating on your own then touching (and asking him to touch) your clitoris during sex. Top tip from Dr Boynton is to go on top if you want to increase your chances of having an orgasm during sex.

4. Isn’t sex supposed to be amazing?

Sex is about a lot more than just penetration, so if that’s all you’re doing, it might not feel as ‘amazing’ as you expected it to. Having sex is also about kissing, touching, stroking, talking, and lots of clitoral stimulation. If your partner stops doing these things after a few minutes or isn’t particularly skilled, show him what you like (which he will probably find a turn-on in itself). As Dr Boynton says, don’t think of ‘foreplay’ and ‘sex’ as two separate things – they’re part and parcel of the same act.

5. I’m not sure I’m ready

It’s normal to feel a bit unsure about having sex, and if you’re having doubts but feel like you should do it to keep him happy, it’s definitely not the right time. In fact, if he’s actually pressuring you, he’s not ready either. Respecting your wishes and understanding your feelings also shows he cares, as well as displaying that all-important emotional maturity. When you feel ready, tell him and eliminate any potential pregnancy/STI worries by using a condom.

6. I think my vagina looks weird and flappy

Err, how many vaginas have you seen up close and personal? Being a body part that’s not usually on display, it’s easy to think yours is odd-looking, has a funny smell, wiry pubic hair or vaginal lips (labia) that are ‘too long’ or a ‘strange’ colour. Vaginas, likes people, come in all shapes and sizes. Lips can be big, or small. Some are hairy, others aren’t. Lads who’ve watched porn will have seen women with shaven vaginas and small labia, but, that doesn’t mean they want you to look like a porn star. Some men are actually turned off by the ‘plucked chicken’ look.

7. Sex sometimes hurts

There are a few reasons why it might be more ‘ouch’ than ‘ohhh’. It could be nerves, or if you’re new to sex (or it’s been a while), you might not be used to it. Mainly, it could be down to a lack of foreplay and lubrication. A lubricant helps, but the key to keeping things juicy is foreplay – so lots of kissing, touching and clitoral stimulation during sex should do the trick. If sex continues to hurt, you may want to see your GP.

8. I fancy a girl – am I a lesbian?

It’s common to find another woman attractive and it doesn’t always mean you’re gay/lesbian. Dr Petra Boynton points out you might be attracted to that particular person, to both guys and girls (bi-sexual), or it could be just girls. For some women, it can be part of a fantasy involving a particular girl or women, but you might feel it’s something more serious and want to start a relationship. It’s normal to have these feelings, whether you’re gay, bi or heterosexual, so don’t rush to stick a label on yourself.

9. Is it wrong to masturbate?

Absolutely not. It’s not harmful and it’s not wrong – if truth be told, it’s the best way to find out what gets you going under the sheets! If you’ve never masturbated, start by exploring your vagina – in particular the clitoris – and you’ll discover what makes you feel good. Dr Boynton notes how some girls feel they shouldn’t masturbate when they’re in a relationship (either alone or in front of their partner), but masturbation is actually a brilliant sex aid, so go for it.

10. I’m worried he won’t want to use a condom

If you think the man should take the lead in sex, it’s easy to think he calls the shots in general. Dr Boynton recommends introducing condoms in a positive way, for example: “I want to relax and not worry about getting pregnant so let’s use one.” If he doesn’t like the sound of that, it says everything about his sexual maturity and experience (or lack of it) and has nothing to do with you being ‘frigid’.

Usnews.com reports that some pharmaceutical products may be going too far when promoting their urgency. A study found in Obstetrics and Gynecology found that while 40 percent of women complain of a low libido, only 12 percent are bothered by it.

Drugs may also have unwanted side effects, such as unwanted facial hair growth and a possible increased risk of breast cancer. Which is why the Mayo Clinic suggests that nutritional supplements such as ginko biloba may help.

However, there are natural ways to treat a low libido, and some offer other health benefits as well.

Aerobic exercise not only is a mood booster, but also improves blood flow to sex organs. However, it should be done in moderation as over exercising may lower testosterone levels.

Relaxing through yoga will negate the stress that affects the libido. Even 15 minutes of relaxing a day could show an improvement.

Research presented by Dr. David Greening of Sydney IVF, an Australian center for infertility and in vitro fertilization, indicates that increasing sexual activity may be the right approach. Dr. Greening studied 118 men with above-average sperm DNA damage.

The participants were told to ejaculate every day for seven days, and the damage to their sperm count fell to 26 percent down from 34 percent. Other studies have indicated that better sperm quality results in higher pregnancy rates.

Frequent sex does decrease semen volume and it did so in the 118 participants but Dr. Greening said in a statement, “It seems safe to conclude that couples with relatively normal semen parameters should have sex daily for up to a week before the ovulation date. In the context of assisted reproduction, this simple treatment may assist in improving sperm quality and ultimately achieve pregnancy.” Sperm quality is also better in men who do not smoke, drink little, exercise and ingest more antioxidants.

Some experts believe that if sperm is in the body too long there is a higher risk of it being damaged and regular ejaculation reduces the problem by getting it out of the body quickly with less chance of DNA damage. Experts said that the research is promising, but it doesn’t prove that daily sex will actually produce more babies. Greening said that he and his colleagues are still analyzing data to determine how many pregnancies occurred in couples who had sex on a daily basis.

Not all medical professionals agreed with Dr. Greenings assumptions. Bill Ledger, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Sheffield, and was not involved in the study, said that sperm DNA is just one part of the puzzle. This could improve pregnancy rates, but more studies need to be done. Ledger thought that the stipulation to have more sex could do more harm than good, and put pressure on couples, already under stress, to adjust their sex lives for the sake of pregnancy.

Dr. Alan Pacey, a fertility expert, also from the University of Sheffield said that the theory was interesting, but it would be wrong to apply the results to all men. Dr. Pacey said that if men suffer from low sperm counts to begin with daily ejaculations could reduce the numbers enough to impede natural conception.

One of natural effects of aging, beginning around 25 in most males, is the reduction in sperm count. Women also begin to be less fertile as they age. Whether sperm count, or sperm health holds the answer to infertility is not truly answered with this study. Doctors who chose to have their patients try this method of improving conception will probably find that their patients will take the doctor’s advice.

http://www.healthnews.com/family-health/mens-health